How about a few Christmas jokes?

I still remember one of the best lectures by one of my favourite teachers at university. He was called Christopher Pratt and he was my first year English teacher. His lecture was called "The linguistics of laughter" although originally he called it "To pee or not to pee". The Dean was really upset, as you can imagine, and he had to change the name for a more formal and academic title. I spent the two happiest hours ever at this lecture. The jokes were hilarious and the analysis, academic and technical.

Whoever said the English had a terrible sense of homour?

To prove you wrong I have included a short list of one-liners about Christmas. Hope you enjoy them.

Christmas One-liners


What is special about the Christmas alphabet?
It has NO EL.

What happens if you eat the Christmas decorations?
You get tinsel-itus!

Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
He likes to ho-ho-ho.

How does Santa Claus take photos?
With his North Pole-aroid.

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve.

Why are Christmas trees like people who can't knit?
They both drop their needles!

Which reindeer needs to mind his manners the most?
"Rude"olph!

What do you call a group of chess fanatics bragging about their
games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas?
Sandy Claus!

What do you call a reindeer wearing earmuffs?
Anything you want. He can't hear you!